LIFESTYLE: Needing Time alone but not wanting to be alone?


Welcome to my first #MaMiMonday Series!

On here I will be sharing some of the #MamiStruggles or anything related to the Mami World!

I am a full time single momI’ve spent the past 5 years completely dedicated to my Cheeseball (my daughter) when I say full time it’s because all I do is work and be with her 100% of the time, there is no going out, dropping her off with the mom so I can go eat, club, drink, shop none of that.

Lately the past few months I have been going through some stuff, I don’t know if it’s safe to call it Depression perhaps?!! Now I know that word carries a very heavy weight on people, I often train my brain to not "Believe" on it and keep it moving, at least that's what I try.

My mood is easily dragged to the floor even if it’s something minor, I feel like it's a huge deal, when in reality is nada!

There are days where I completely feel like I just need at least one day or even if it's one afternoon to MY SELF, without knowing that people exist (Have I mentioned I’m not much of a people person?) 
well not that I’m not a people person is just that I get easily aggravated by the way humans act sometimes and I have this thing where my facial expressions are very expressive lol... back to the story, there have been days when I’ve already asked my mom to watch my daughter so I can at least have a few hours to myself, I’ve been one click away from booking a flight even if it’s for a day and go somewhere where I don’t know anyone so I can just re charge without any worries but I just can't do it.

The thing is that I don’t really feel like being alone either I am so used to be with my daughter, or doing the usual that when I am alone I feel more anxious?! I don’t know it’s weird and makes no sense whatsoever.

I don't even know if it's safe to call it panic attacks, it's like a indescribable feeling.

I often get asked if I don't go out with my girlfriends or anything like that and the response is no, I don't, that is something I really don't enjoy much either. I've noticed my self wanting to sleep away what I have been feeling and it's not a good idea either but I really don't know how I can stop it.

Has anyone been dealing or feeling this way? If so what is some advice you can provide? How are you handling this feelings?

Love Always,